Either Feline or Harlequin
by SisOfNight
Summary: There are obstacles a feline has to overcome. First, to survive walking in a harlequin's slipper shoes. Second, not to get caught. Third, not to lose one's own self. Last, but not least, not to forget how to differentiate between Good and Evil, Love and Hatred, Bat and Clown... In short: What happened, if the feline Selina Kyle and the harlequin Harleen Quinzel swapped identities?


**Either Feline or Harlequin**

_inspired by Bob Kane's Batman; Batman: Arkham City_

* * *

**Chapter 1** **- Getting onto/off the trapeze**

"What a fantastic night!"

He exclaimed enthusiastically, turning around to the feline woman very next to him. She was facing the audience in front of them, who were applauding for their circus performance tonight, with a soulless look in her emerald green eyes.  
"Fantastic, indeed..." she whispered sarcastically to herself, casually waving back to the fiendish appearing faces in the darkness, which was caused by the spotlight; it made everything apart from the artists in the manege look like black ghouls dancing at the dead of the night...  
Oh, how all this electrical light was screaming at her pupils! She -  
"What did you say? Whatever, I just love all of this! Ha ha!" Martin did not stop clamouring with utter excitement. Whenever their trapeze performance had went well - or bad, he never could keep his sentiments to him.  
"I did not say anything..." Selina replied as uncaringly as before.  
_I have got other things to think of than your foolish behaviour... For example, for how long I will be able to keep up with this..._

On her way out the big top Selina was followed by not a horde of fans, but again the blonde-haired, extroverted, childish, naive Martin. "What about a drink or two?" His words sounded stretched and lower than usual.  
"I think you had enough drinks already." Selina disregarded Martin's hopeless romantic advances with a bored undertone. But they were only hopeless in her eyes, not in his.  
"I don't think so! See, I -"  
"I see a drunk bag full of immaturity, nothing else."  
"Oh come on, don't be so defensive and just give us a chance for one time! Since the last month I could not get you out of my head, girl. I mean, something's changed about you... I don't know what exactly, but it surely payed off, I mean - man, I love you, Harley! I really do! Please, allow me - us! - just one single date! Wait, is this the light, or did your eyes actually change their colour? Aren´t they usually as blue as the sea?"  
Selina had not seen this coming. Inwardly she startled, inevitably her generally smooth movements became stiff, instantly a rush of adrenaline began to pump through her veins. _Hadn't she covered her personality well enough? Was the disguise still not impenetrable?_ Suddenly she remembered how in the morning she did not bother to put in the blue contact lenses again. Selina grew uncommonly anxious - her legs prepared themselves for a jump on the face of the nearest skyscraper. With great effort she managed to control her instinctive flee impulse, pulled herself together and gave Martin a fake upbeat look.  
"Yeah, usually. But ya know, the moonlight is magical... makes things look different." And she flashed Martin with an equally fake smile that did not reach her eyes. "Besides, I really must go home now. I've got someone waitin` for me..."  
Within a second, the troubled woman had vanished into the darkness and left Martin G., probably one of the best trapeze artist in Gotham City, confused and heartbroken behind her.

_Gladly he has not noticed my fake identity all the way yet. I must tell the _real_ Harley about that. Maybe she will finally release me from this confining duty then... _Selina mused. She sighed while she was watching the silver moonlight illuminate the frozen street and roof surfaces. It was one of Gotham's finest winters - bitterly cold, windless and the air filled with a metallic smell. Selina sighed for a second time and realized, with a sense of self-contempt, that she has become terribly sentimental since she has been obliged to restrict her own true self. The blue contacts, the blonde wig, the circus performances, even the neglection of kitten love - all of that was supposed to trick everyone into believing that she was Harley Quinn. One might ask themselves why the most alluring and elegant "cat" of Gotham City was undertaking these self-restrictions. The frightening fact was, Selina did not know the real reason herself.

She has been driven by Harley Quinn´s demands. Generally, Selina never took Harleen`s requests into consideration, for she thought she was a starry-eyed loony, but this one particular time she simply had to. Mentionable in this regard was the memorable moment Harley Quinn saved Selina´s 7th life. One month ago the following incident had happened: Pamela Isley, also known as Poison Ivy, had stolen the key to the Gotham Museum's safe that contained one of the most sacred cat statues from the crypt of the Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun. Selina had wanted to get this model into her delicate claws for a long time, and now as Poison Ivy had beat her to the punch, Selina had felt repulsed and greatly angered by Pamela's daring, and obviously provoking act. The very next night, Selina had sidled up to Pamela's room in the most remote hotel of Gotham City, located at the farthest borders, where the weed grows the wildest. There, Poison Ivy had grown similarly furious at the sight of the Cat Woman and summoned the rootage of the tree from the hotel's garden up her room, and almost strangled with its help her opposition. Fortunately, Pamela's best friend Harley Quinn had been visiting her. The blonde had been quite joyful on the contrary, probably due to the (rare) affectionate behaviour the Joker had exhibited the last few days. So, she had light-heartedly cajoled the redhead into letting the "poor cat lady" go, which she finally had reluctantly done.

What this insignificant appearing quarrel had to do with Selina's identity change? Well, one week later, Harley had shown up at Selina's (once) secret residence and asked her to swap identities. As simple and straight-forward as that.  
"You know, you owe me a little duty, after all. After that little tree-accident, you remember? Because of you, my dear Pam needed to go back to Arkham Asylum again, that poor thing! How I miss her! How cruel of this disgusting pack that calls themselves _Gotham Police Department_! Ugh!" Harley spit out onto Selina's carpet, which was almost fully torn apart by kitten claws.  
"Ah well, let's be a bit more feminine, shall we? That's what we like, right? Anyways, to get back to my point. For the following weeks, months... let's say until I'll tell ya, you'll be _me_! Isn't this fantastic?! I mean, you will dress like me, act like me, dance like me -" Harley performed something that slightly resembled a victory dance right on the spot, accompanied by squeaky laughter - "'Cause for the sake of _integrity,_ not only will you be fabulously me, but also a trapeze-artist at the Gotham Circus. Mr. J said this is obligatory for us to remain _undercover_. By the way, he hasn't got a clue about this plan! It is... a surprise, you could say!" For a short moment, Harley's face looked distressed, almost lost.  
"Uhm... Yeah... Oh! Before I forget: No. Indecent. Advances. Towards. My. Puddin'! Secondly, I will try to be you... somehow. We will give each other lessons in behaving like the other. All right! This will be it!" Of course, Selina had refused to give up her standards and work for a lunatic. But there had been an inexpressible force inside of her that made her agree to this crazy identity swap (and lessons).

Selina glanced thoughtfully at the crescent moon, trying to put this feeling into words. She was interrupted by the unmistaking sound of clashing wings.  
"Is that you - Harley Quinn?" asked a deep, somewhat rough-edged voice the woman's shadow against the moonlight.  
Its owner's heart rose to a higher level. _Not even my conversations with Bruce can be the same anymore... I must steer clear of his presence, no matter how much I adore to be near him!_

And she ran as fast as she could away, turned a somersault over a gap between two house blocks, and escaped from the Bat Man's sight.


End file.
